I joined Toastmasters because I wanted to be a stand-up comedian.

I thought that getting some experience speaking in front of a friendly crowd would help me. I didn't really know what Toastmasters was about, I just heard from a friend that you get to speak to a bunch of people about anything you want. Exactly what I was looking for.

From my first meeting I realised that there was a lot more to Toastmasters than my friend told me. The evaluations in particular were such a novelty. I had never experienced receiving feedback in such a positive manner from someone who really wanted me to improve. I was soo hooked on Toastmasters that for two years I completely forgot what made me join.

So I decided to finally try my hand at stand-up. I got in touch with Lazy Susan at the Brisbane Hotel and booked my spot. With six weeks to prepare, I thought I had it in the bag.

Then came the big day. I could not eat all day. I could not concentrate on anything, I could not even do my work. I could only think of my routine and whether it would be funny or not.

Finally the night is here. The first act was really funny. So was the second, and the third. Time for me to go to the green room as I am number five.

The MC calls my name; I walk onto the stage; the bright lights hit my eyes. I can only see people in the first few rows, the rest is all dark under those huge hot spot lights. Focus, this is just like being at Toastmasters.

Except it is not. At least not always. Luckily on my night the audience was very supportive and I got a few laughs. Not every joke landed, but most did and I was happy with my performance.

Buoyed by my first go, I returned a few months later. This time the audience was in a different mood. There were a lot of hecklers, people interrupting, generally giving the acts a bad time. I received very few laughs.

Watching the video recording of my show I realised it was not the audience's fault. Most of the acts, including Me, were not funny. We did not deserve the laughs.

So I was exuberant when Toastmasters introduced the Engaging Humor Path. I jumped with on it; this is my chance to get funny.

I started the path three years ago. And I have recently completed level 4. I have started three other paths since starting Engaging Humor and whenever I feel daunted whenever I think about delivering the level 5 project. The level 3 and 4 projects were tough already, but delivering a 22-minute keynote, with humour, is something I dread.

But then I think back to my whole Toastmasters journey. All the successes I had: completing a High Performance Leadership Project; running a Speechcraft course; sponsoring a new club. They all involved some level of fear, dread and trepidation. When I think back to my Icebreaker, even that was scary.

But all those things made me grow, they made me a better speaker, a better communicator, a better leader.

So I have decided, I am going to deliver my 22-minute level 5 keynote, before the end of the year. This year. I think.

 

The Black Swan